Happy Travels: Key West

If you are planning to come to Key West, there are three things you need to know:
Duval Crawl is Unachievable Worthy Goal - Kelli and I have been thrown out of every bar from Mallory Square/Hogs Breath to Southern Most Mansion. If you google it, that's 1.1 mile of bars, watering holes, and excellent music. Try as we might, we've never made it end-to-end stopping in each drinking establishment along the way. You can walk it, rickshaw, or uber ... none of it helps. Just too many bars in too short a distance to cover in one night.
Sandbars are a 100% Must DO! - If you go to Beale Street and don't see Grace Land, if you go to 6th Street and don't see a Long Horn Bull, if you come to Key West and don't get to a sandbar, then you have missed 50%+ of the experience. Let's face it ... Key West Beaches are not like Mrtyle Beach or St. Pete. They are too small, too rocky, and often too full of sea weed to compare to our Nation's best beaches. BUT, the local sand bars are pretty damn special and stack up to some of the best in the Caribean.
Art & History Matters - Don't come to Key West without reading Hemmingway's "Old Man in the Sea." We actually shame any/all of our guest who don't have the 2 hours to read this small treasure. Hemmingway house takes 30 minutes, Key West Arts & Historical Society has stuff all month long, and for the most ambitionous (and rich - it's pricey) tourists ... take the float plan to Dry Torgugas. There's tons of art stores and gallaries for folks with a propensity for shopping.
HERE'S OUR TOP PICKS
Best Performers
Nick Brownell - "Nick the Dick" is his stage name. You have been warned, but it's a good time. If you can catch "Honkey Tonk Tuesday" or "RawDawgs", it's a special opportunity for locals and visitors. If you happen to see Nick sing with his wife Kara, you can thank you. She's 100 times better then him. Again, he's a self-proclaimed dick.
Kari & Jack Wolf - WolfLove or separately, you will be happy to enjoy their music. Great performers and entertainers. Rev T and Kelli Darlin were in their wedding. They give it 100% at every show ... and live stream on the regular.
Tony Baltimore - "Let's All Go Insane" pretty much sums it up. Great alternative to Wagon Wheel, Take Me Home, Sweet Caroline, and Free Bird. Kelli was in his That Girl's Got Eyes music video.
Aaron Hudgins - Let's be clear, if he's drinking Jaeger ... strap in. It's gonna get rowdy and most assuredly hard-core country. Check out his orginal tune "June" by Aaron Hudgins .
Music Venues
The Alamo - formerly Smokin Tuna with a face lift. Food is good enough. Bathrooms are clean enough. Acoustics are good enough. If you like a singer/band ... go see them at The Alamo ... you will like the vibe.
Halo - nice to get above the street. Cool, small, easy to get drinks, and music is always very good.
Hogs Breath - great bartenders and nice mix of local and visiting bands.
Willie T's - small, crowded, old, dirty, loud, rowdy, sometimes hard to get to bar, but maybe the most consistent good time in Key West.
On the Water
The Paddle Hut at Geiger Key - Embark on a serene kayak tour, at The Paddle Hut at Geiger Key, nestled in the tranquil waters of Florida Keys. You can kill two migratory birds with one stone (it's a joke folks) ... have lunch at Geiger Key Fish Camp.
Commotion on the Ocean - you gotta do it once ... try to get on Kenny Fradley's Fury Sunset boat cruise. He's the best trumpet player in Florida Keys (played on U2 album.
Snipes Sandbar - again, it takes a bit of effort, but it's well worth it. Spend 4 hours with your feet in white sand, waist deep in clear water, and take in 360 degrees of beautiful.
Loo Key Snorkling - it's a bit of a chore to get there from Key West, but go if you can get there. In 25 years, it might not exits. Science is real ... global warming is real ... and it's killing the coral reefs.
Best Place to See a Show
Key West Theater - Kelly Norman and her staff do it all. Local talent, national talent, tribute bands, bingo, charity events. One thing for sure ... if they are putting it on, then it's gonna be worth putting your eyeballs on it.
Waterfront Playhouse - We love this place. It's a tiny place, not a bad seat, but the quality of the show is big-time. This is NOT community theatre. It's serious performance put on by professionals that will stand up to what you see in Miami, Washington DC, Boston, Seattle ... ask us how we know. Say hi to Patrick ... he runs the show. (literally and figuratively)
Aqua - we like La te Da and we've survived 801, but if you are looking for the drag show that's "just right" ... this is the place. Highly recommend shots before, during, and by then after ... why not? If you are offended by cross-walks being painted rainbow, you are in the wrong town cowboy.
Fancy Restaurants
Bel Mar - Food is excellent and service is perfect ($$$$)
Louie's Back Yard - Upstairs is first come first served ($$$$)
Lola's - but you MUST have a reservation and it is BYOB ($$$$$)
Breakfast Spots
Blue Heaven for Sunday Brunch ($$$)
Hot Tin Roof ($$$)
Too Drunk - Gotta Eat
Mr. Z's - cheese steak is the best and look for Julia's photo ($$)
Super Dogs - not sure we'd recommend if you are sober ($)
Pizza Place at Rick's - watch out ... it's hot ($)
Water View
Latitudes - must have reservations and take the water-taxi over ($$$$$)
Geiger Key - best backwater fishcamp below MM50 ($$$)
Casa Marina Toes in the Sand Dinner ($$$$)
Bar Food
Mary Ellen's - best tomato soup and cheese sandwhich ($$)
Willie T's - it's been around for a long while ($$)
Best Sloppy Joe
Sloppy Joe's - it's 100% tourists, but why not ($$)
Tonio's - we like it ... a lot. ($$)
Best Cuban
Sandie,s Cafe - it's on White Street and is connected to a laundry mat. If you don't speak Cuban, you better bring your A1 translator ... OR go with "Cuban Mix and coke."
Riviera Coffee & Sandwich Shop - it's on Flagler Ave next to the new Timmy Tuxedo's. Can't go wrong with Cuban coffee, cuban sandwich, or their breakfast sandwich.
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Meal Before a Show
Pepe de Mason
La te Da's
The Grand
Fun Activities
Sky Dive Key West
Geiger Key Paddle Out
Sunset Sports - Jet Ski Tour